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The Keanu Curse

March 6, 2011

I am always going to be unsatisfied with the casting of and performance of Keanu Reeves in Bram Stoker’s Dracula. I have mentioned before in a previous blog and I shall mention it again. Basically, in my humble opinion, the film would have been great with someone else playing his part. Check this link out to remember why I feel this way:

The first time I saw Keanu act was in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure and let me tell you, I LOVE that movie! The main characters were two teens who may not be the brightest. Keanu’s character Ted used a lot of inquisitive “Woahhhhhs”. I thought this was good acting on his part until I saw him in other films and thought….oh he must act like that always then.

Then I saw him in Little Buddha and he was good there, but I was just waiting for him to say “the path to enlightenment is so whoahhhh”.

Finally, he is Jonathan in Bram Stoker’s Dracula: 

and my favorite:

Here he is trying to sneeze in “The Lake House”

But the curse of Keanu goes back further…

In this commercial…I cannot understand WHY people who win bike races need to drink coke before and after the race. Should he not be drinking water? Gatorade? An electrolyte drink to recover all the fluids he lost in the race? All the spectators are drinking cokes too. So…I am going to go watch a bike race and randomly will be clutching on to a coke as I root for the winner. The best part is at the end, when Keanu’s character wins the race and his father gives him a coke…and all Keanu can say is “A coke”. So even in his early years we see that he was set up with bad scripts. A coke? I just won a race “a coke”. Oy Vey!

And finally, the fact that Keanu Reeves has been with us for centuries, as some people claim his immortality…

Is Keanu Reeves a good actor? Well, he is a SAG working actor and that says a lot, considering a lot of talented people never make it past the second SAG voucher (Hollywood talk). He kind of redeems himself with The Matrix and Speed, but those are more action movies rather than deep dramas where he must mandate quality dialogue as so:

(Keanu Appears in the first 14 seconds,the rest is bad acting from other actors)

This is the curse of Keanu…and he is to stay.

On an unrelated note, I noticed there are some great “time traveler” videos on youtube and will definitely make a blog out of those theories.

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